Blog Three!

Write your own poem beginning with any of the following lines from Emily Bronte’s poems:

I’m happiest when most away….

No coward soul is mine….

Yesterday

“No coward soul is mine”,
You lied to all even those of the divine,
To stand one day a life of courage,
Is wishful thinking as you’d never flourish

But huzzah today is a new day,
You look around and see no grey,
Only slight but growing shade afar,
You squint and sense something is ajar

Oh how could you forget that sour past,
Only for a moment that ceased to last,
You should never allow your hopes to gain fat,
I could stand here forever and tell you that

Goal after goal you set to fail,
How can you possibly be more frail,
You avoid responsibilities to a tee,
Why won’t you god damn listen to me!

Ignore me now I’ll be coming back,
The longer you wait the harder I hack,
For until you learn to grow a spine,
You will never truly claim “No coward soul is mine!”

“The Blessed Guillaume De Toulouse Tormented By Demon’s” 1657 oil painting by French painter and sculptor Ambroise Fredeau

2 thoughts on “Blog Three!

  1. Hamish,
    I really enjoyed reading your creative poem, it created a sense of mystery intriguing me and enticing me to continue reading your poem. I liked the way that you incorporated the lines from Emily Bronte’s poem and your use of the visual image, it allows to me to see your passion in your writing and accentuates your feelings of anger. Although there is a sense of mystery regarding the context, perhaps you could’ve addressed who and why you are writing about within your poem, perhaps a line or so. My favourite part of the poem was your final stanza, it was a very good way of ending your poem, and enticed me to continue reading your work.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hey Hamish,

    You are a very talented poet and I want you to know that.

    Reading your poem “Yesterday” forced me to close my eyes and recognise the psychological adversities we as humans often face. Your writing called me to revisit moments in my own life where I have doubted my own self, and the directions to which I was headed. It was lines such as:

    “Oh, how could you forget that sour past,

    Only for a moment that ceased to last”

    Where I found myself reevaluating my past mistakes, what I have learnt and how I have grown as a human on earth. Perhaps, what makes this idea most intriguing is when you allude to that concept of moving forward and remaining positive. In an optimistic tone you write, “But huzzah today is a new day,”. Whilst it may be interpreted in a sarcastic tone, I like to think that cliché saying has so much substance to it. With every beautiful day life has to offer we have an opportunity to do something great with it.

    I appreciate the rhythm and tone of your poem most however. The effectiveness of how effortlessly the stanzas and rhymes flowed throughout. As a reader you kept me engaged from the first line to the last and that is what a great poem has the ability to do. Your metaphors, personification and similes were brilliantly used to show the dichotomy between the physical state and the psychological state.

     The only criticism I wish to convey is that I felt that poem could have benefited from more specific details and adversities faced. Perhaps, an additionally stanza or two potentially could have benefited the poem as a whole.

    Overall, it was inspiring to read Hamish and you’ve written a masterpiece.

    Like

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